I know, believe me I know. Contradictory as the idea of vulnerability to be empowering  may seem superficially, once you look past that layer and get deep into it, it starts to make all the sense in the world.

The Start of It All

Ever since we’re young, as early as we start developing any semblance of a conscience we’re taught to put our walls up and keep them up, to never show any weakness as it could be preyed on and we terribly hurt. 

And then we do. Sensitivity is beaten out of us and forcibly made to be always on the defensive, shutting down any perceived threat coming our way; disregarding if it’s even a real threat or not. 

And funnily enough, the worst thing of it all is. even as we do what we’re taught, we still end up getting hurt and played with. 

Countless times even. 

The Pointlessness of It All

We take all these lessons to heart only for them to blow up on our faces time and time again; getting repeatedly hurt without really knowing how to deal with it, as we’ve only learned how to avoid it but never to address it, never to face it.  

The path I’ve seen most people being thrown into once they hurt for the first time is to fortify their walls; only this time not having their protection or safety in mind.

Only difference now is they’re doing it full of bitterness like thorns and spikes preventing anyone from climbing them.

No lesson learned other than building them higher, making them tougher and thicker. Making it more and more of a challenge to penetrate them and in turn, making us just as bitter until we no longer protect ourselves; instead, we plainly start lashing out at others. 

We do as we’re told and more often than not, we hurt people whose only wish was to care for us, people who never thought of (intentionally) hurting us.

The Culture I was Raised In

Growing up in (what I consider to be) the least advanced country in Latin America this is what I grew up around. Vulnerability was a weakness

Everybody always looking for and ready to jump into conflict at a hair’s notice, pushing away those who provide a safe haven, never taking off their mask and showing who they really are out of fear and paranoia. 

Never really learning from their experiences and just perpetuated the endless cycle of pain and abuse. 

Especially jarring when you see the people who molded you into this survivalist mindset getting repeatedly hurt anyways; inadvertently teaching the hardest lesson of them all: You’re bound to get hurt sooner or later. One way or another!!

How Vulnerability Graces You

But, it’s just one path, not the ONLY path.

There are those of us who had this crazy little feeling that there was something else than just this cold mentality, that it could not possibly be just an endless struggle against everybody and everything with little to no reward other than isolation.

There are those of us who took the huge leap to start opening up and taking off our mask, giving vulnerability a shot despite all the fear and uncertainty, despite all the lessons beaten into us. Just braving to be true to ourselves.

Naturally, we’ve gotten hurt and disappointed, as expected; but we’ve also seen enough good and learned the most valuable lessons along the way now that we opened our eyes. 

The Struggle that Keeps on Giving

Through my experiences and from others’ around me I’ve seen some things inevitably happen when you find the empowerment in being vulnerable.

Things you can only learn and live when you’re ready to leave the old ways behind and take that giant leap of faith. 

If you are, well then here we gp:

1. You become braver to be yourself

Along the way in your journey you’re bound to find more than one person who’s going to see your light and who you really are. They’re going to shower you with the love and care that you deserve, and all from the bottom of their hearts. 

They’ll love you for simply being the wonderful person you are, every single person that shows up in your life for you. You’ll learn to fuel your self-worth with their love and will be unapologetically yourself. 

Proudly and happily.

2. Your light can’t help but shine through 

Once you’ve found your spark, your essence, it cannot help but sip through every chance it gets. 

The way you move, you talk, how you work and in your humour, even the art you create. Everything you do starts feeling a certain way people identify it’s yours and only yours; something they will always remember you by.

3.   You get kinder and empathetic

Being vulnerable could be one of the hardest choices anyone can make in their lives. We’re certain we’ll run headfirst into a world of pain somewhere along the line; most likely sooner than later. 

But something inside of us turns that pain into kindness and makes us a more caring person. We know what it feels like to ache, to be disappointed and we just want to ease that healing for others and give back the love and comfort you’ve been given before. 

4.  You start to build your support system

We never forget that despite all the good that’s in it, the world remains a tricky place at best and bleak at worst.

There’s so many complexities and nuances that can overwhelm us, any day and any time. We as people are social creatures, we band together to survive and navigate this layered world we live in the best way we can.

After you dare to open up and become unapologetically yourself, the people drawn to you will be there to support you in your endeavors and set you back to the right path whenever you stray too far. 

You’ll have this group of people that will love to be there for you when you need it, no matter the distance or circumstances.

5.  You get less and less afraid of pain and sadness

We’re gonna hurt. That’s a given. It may happen anytime, anywhere. Someone or something may do it, doesn’t matter, but your heart is gonna break.

And that’s okay. The fact is,  we become stronger and wiser each time it happens. We get acquainted with them, we strike a relationship with them and get to understand them.

They’re just situations and feelings that will happen once in a while, and just as they come they’ll pass. We’re going to learn and grow from them and they’ll be on their way again

You now at this point are not afraid of some heart breaking or disappointment, not that you like it, but because you’re certain you’ll get through it and come out stronger. You have yourself, you have your system, what can triumph against that? 

6. You become much more willing to love and be loved. 

Relationships; love in general; is a high-risk high-reward kind of situation.

We go in with all the dangers we are warned about with no reward in sight. But with more frequency that we sometimes tend to admit, we do find happiness and joy in other people and within ourselves; by not only getting but showering others with unadulterated, unfiltered affection.

At one point you start taking the love that comes your way without doubt (or carelessness either), because it is what we really deserve. No questions asked. 

7. You stop needing others to lift you up 

Don’t get me wrong. When those that came to you and helped you find your shine again continue to do so, it feels your heart with enormous joy.

But after getting to this point, after surviving everything you’ve been through and letting your fire shine bright again, your confidence, your self-love and appreciation for life are reborn. 

The one that keeps it going it’s you. You find reasons every day to be grateful for the little things, celebrate the good, push through the bad and look forward for a brand new day. 

What others bring is gasoline but it’s not the source of the sun you’ve created. 

Well, that’s me. What have you personally learned from daring to be vulnerable? What moved you to do so? or stopped you? 

I’ll read you in the comments.